


Tired

by Tabbynerdicat



Series: Stripesverse [8]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabbynerdicat/pseuds/Tabbynerdicat
Summary: Marvin has been overworking himself, but he thinks he's only a little tired. What will it take to make him see the damage he's inflicting on himself?
Series: Stripesverse [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598143
Kudos: 43





	Tired

_Tired._

It had slipped out so easily the first time, as if he’d had the word sitting on the tip of his tongue, just waiting for someone to confront him about his baggy eyes, or his paler skin, or his unkempt hair that he couldn’t even recall washing. It was mindless, instinctive- he didn’t exactly resonate with it, but it was too late to correct that now.

Henrik wished him well, giving him a sympathetic smile. But he wouldn’t be smiling for much longer, would he? That look would grow sadder, more concerned, more worried for Marvin’s health- but it was nothing, wasn’t it? He was just tired. Just…

 _Tired_.

“You doin’ okay?” Chase asked him, clapping Marvin heartily on the shoulder. “You seem down lately, what’s up?”

At first, Marvin had been confused. Baffled at the very thought- down? Really? Sure, he’d been sleeping in just a little while longer, and he didn’t really get out of the house much, but that was all because he was busy- right? He was just busy with his passion, so caught up in the prospect of perfection that the time seemed to slip away, and… he wasn’t _down_. Chase had it all wrong. He was just-

“Tired,” Marvin dismissed, yawning into his palm. “Been working late, you know the drill… I’ve got a client that wants this _huge_ batch of-”

“Just…” Chase interrupted, giving Marvin a pointed look. “Just take care of yourself, man. I don’t want you to burn yourself out.”

That was ridiculous, wasn’t it? How could Marvin be burning himself out? He loved experimenting with magic, potions, alchemy- he always had something new to work on, something new to study… There was always something _more_ to do. Chase just didn’t understand that.

_Tired…_

Slumped over his desk, snoozing softly, Marvin hadn’t noticed just how exhausted he really was. Between looking through his notes on the proper stance and form to assume when casting water-based spells, tending to the high-maintenance plants in his outdoor planter, and assuring the rest of his family that he was _fine_ … he’d neglected to even consider that perhaps, he wasn’t. But they were just exaggerating it, weren’t they? One all-nighter wasn’t the end of the world, nor was two, nor three… he was still as capable as ever.

He was still getting up and working through the day- he was still functional, still eating, still taking breaks. Just… not so many as he used to. He was still talking to them, laughing with them, he couldn’t _possibly_ be feeling low. What did they know about how he was feeling? Surely nobody knew that better than him. Surely they could all see that he was just a little tired.

_Just a little…_

“You are keeping hydrated, yes?” Henrik asked him when he came down to the kitchen to fetch a snack. He looked up wearily, holding a bag of crisps in one hand, his spellbook in the other. His eyes felt like sandpaper- his head felt… heavy?

Maybe he wasn’t getting enough water after all.

 _He nodded._

“I’m just a little busy right now,” Marvin muttered, excusing himself. He’d never admit it, but he felt rather _tense_ … something was off. Something had changed. What could it be?

“Whoa.”

Someone- _Anti_ \- had strolled into the kitchen, shooting Marvin a strange look. The magician glared back, though his eyes wanted nothing more than to close. His vision was swimming, lights blending together, burning his retinas… he needed rest, didn’t he? He was tired. But he was busy. And busy people _don’t_ feel tired. They can’t afford to be…

“Long time no see,” Anti commented, fetching a can of Pepsi from the fridge and cracking it open, much to Henrik’s dismay. “Thought you up and died or some shit…”

“ _Anti_.” Henrik chided, looking as though he wanted to knock the soda out of Anti’s hands. “You know that will rot your teeth, don’t you?”

“Bite me,” Anti challenged him, downing the drink in one gulp and crushing it in the same movement. He tossed the can lazily into the trash, but it was obvious that the glitch felt proud of his accomplishment- and when he turned to look at Marvin’s reaction, he… had he even noticed?

“ _Hey_.” Anti uttered, waving a hand in front of Marvin’s pale face. “Y’know, it’s _rude_ not to applaud a guy when he nails a shot like that.”

“Huh?” Marvin shivered, suddenly feeling… dizzy. Was that normal? He’d be fine, he just needed something to lean on, and… oh, there it was. The stern look on Henrik’s face, the sheer disappointed _concern_. He’d be trying to twist this, to blame Marvin’s magic and lock him out of his room- and Marvin couldn’t _let_ that happen. So much was at stake here. _So much_ to do…

He appeared to tense.

“I… I saw you on the weekend, Anti, it’s only been a few days,” Marvin shook his head, his grip on his crisp packet tightening. “And I’m sorry I didn’t notice that, I… I’m a bit tired right now, alright? Brain’s a bit all over the place, I’m sure you understand…”

Anti’s eyebrow raised, and Henrik frowned his way.

“… Marv, I haven’t seen ye in two _weeks_ ,” Anti muttered, folding his arms. “Not that I was countin’… but maybe ye should take a break from all that magic shit for a day. Can’t be good for ye.”

“He is right,” Henrik agreed, looking increasingly worried. “And you must eat something other than this junk- you look dead on your own feet…”

“I’m _fine,”_ Marvin scowled, his head suddenly pounding more intensely, his fingers feeling full of pent-up _something_ , his ears ringing with the high-pitched sound of silence… “Seriously, guys, I’m okay. It’s sweet that you care, but I can handle _myself_.”

Could he?

Sometimes, he wasn’t so sure… he’d checked the date that night, his deadlines drawing ever-nearer. And suddenly, there was no more time to lose- there was no more time to _waste_. God, what had he been _doing_? He couldn’t remember, couldn’t recall it, the days passing and adding onto each other like a blur of failures, successes, repeats, trials, failures, repeats, trials, failures…

“ _No_ ,” Marvin shuddered, sweeping his hands across his cluttered up desk, frantically searching for his missing vial. “No- no, no, no, _no_ … shit. I can’t lose it now, not _now_ …”

So many months of hard work, so many sleepless nights, so many half-finished arguments with his family that he hardly even _saw_ anymore. So much _time_ , gone in the blink of an eye… he _refused_ to believe it was over. It had to be here _somewhere_ …

“ _Damn it_ ,” he shivered, eyes prickling with dumbfounded tears. His heart felt empty, his lungs bursting with emotion, his throat constricted with the shock and horror that was only starting to hit him now. Why had it waited? Oh, no _matter_ \- it was gone. His vial, the most priceless and valuable potion in the entire _world_ … it wasn’t here. Where did it _go_?

How could he have been so _careless_?

“Argh!” Marvin growled, fingers tingling with excess energy, his arms suddenly alive with pain, power, _anger_. He felt the magic curling around him, heating up the very air, his cheeks flushing and skin starting to sweat in the intensity of his grief. His sheer upset, his _pride_ , his exhausted raging desire for _acceptance_.

It was all gone now, wasn’t it?

 _There was no hope now._

_Too little, too late. Too tired…_

“Shit, man- you okay in there? I heard a bang and-”

“I’m _fine_ , Chase!” Marvin growled, voice suddenly sounding several times louder than before. “Leave me _be_!”

A loud crash, a whipping sound- did Marvin do that? He couldn’t see, but his eyes were glowing- he couldn’t _feel_ , but his skin was aflame… he wanted to scream, but he couldn’t find the strength.

 _Tired_.

“Hey- _hey_! Snap out of it, dude, you’re scaring Robbie-”

Marvin gritted his teeth, hands tangled in his hair, taking a step back as he felt the air spinning around him.

“I- I _can’t_ , I… I don’t know _how_ …”

A flash, a crackle- Marvin felt the hairs on his arm catch fire, biting back a scream of agony. He stumbled into his desk, potions spilling all over, glass cracking and exploding with the intense, searing heat. Marvin’s heart was in his throat-

 _No, no!_

“Calm down!” Chase called, voice hardly even audible from the doorway. “You’ve gotta calm down, or you’ll hurt yourself!”

It wasn’t that simple.

Was it?

“I _can’t_!” Marvin howled, tears spilling incessantly down his cheeks, being whipped away in the harsh winds. “I _c-can’t_ , Chase, I… I need to find it! I _need_ it, I…”

“ _Listen to yourself!”_ Chase shouted, and Marvin could feel someone’s hand on his shoulder, someone’s soothing touch, and…

He was… dizzy. Faint, and _falling_ , right into the other man’s arms. Chase caught him, patting him down, squashing out the last of the flames. His hand came away, dripping with fresh blood…

“Oh, Marv…” Chase breathed, his face a mask of horror. “What-?”

“I’m j-just…” Marvin sniffed, guttural sobs breaking through his lips as he shuddered and trembled in Chase’s arms. “I’m s-so…”

“Tired.”

They were sitting together in the living room, swaddled in blankets, some comedy movie from the 2000s playing on the TV. Marvin was staring at his lap, ashamed, angry, hurt… he knew it was all his fault. He should have been better.

He was meant to be _better_.

“I know the feeling,” Chase continued, reaching to grasp Marvin’s arm. “When it seems like the world is crushing you, and time keeps on running out…”

“I _failed_ …” Marvin shivered, wiping his eyes. “I was m-meant to keep that potion safe, I… I was going to be _famous_. They were going to write my name in history books, they were going to _respect_ me and I… I’m nothing but a fool, now. I… I’m _nothing_ without that vial…”

“What was in there that you’re so afraid of losing?” Chase asked him, eyes boring into Marvin’s very soul. He wanted to help- but why should he? Chase hadn’t done anything wrong…

Chase wasn’t the _failure_ here.

Chase wasn’t the one that had let himself become _weak_. The one that had become too weary to go on, the one that had let arguably the most _revolutionary_ magical find in recent millennia go missing…

Before Marvin could think to speak, he felt shivers cascading down his spine. The chilling sound of the front door rattling open, Chase’s face growing pale, quiet footsteps coming down the hallway.

“Intruders?” Marvin whispered, getting to his feet and raising his hands, prepared to cast a binding curse if he needed to.

“Everyone else is asleep,” Chase agreed, swallowing nervously. The creaking continued, and Marvin couldn’t hold back any longer. He was already a disgrace to his community- why should he let himself be a disgrace to his family, too?

“I’ll take the lead,” Marvin muttered, stepping out into the hall. He was tired, miserable, his heart wrenching with guilt and regret- but he wasn’t too tired for _this_.

_Aren’t I?_


End file.
